Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
