on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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