Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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