i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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