I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
