this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
