if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I will pee on everything he values.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
