When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
