Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
