Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
