Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
