i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
