so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
