how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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