I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
