he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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