he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
