well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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