you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
