When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
