i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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