I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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