brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
