What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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