I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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