Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
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