He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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