Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
