I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
