I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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