It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
