Having a random hookup so left but love u
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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