he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
