Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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