Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
