This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
