8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
it's great music for shaving your balls
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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