Sponge bath it is.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish I only lived at night.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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