Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
