i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
