Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
