It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
