So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
