i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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