Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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