that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she pinky promised me she was 18
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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