Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
