Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
