hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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