It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
