I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
