Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
